Mission Impossible: Rice Krispies Treats

I think I've failed the test of being a true blue American - I cannot make Rice Krispies treats. (This is similar to my failing of the test to be a true Mormon - I can't play volleyball worth a darn.)

Ashlyn's 4th birthday is coming up and she's bringing treats to preschool tomorrow for a little celebration. I decided to make Rice Krispie treats. Bad idea.

How does anyone make these things? It seems an impossible task to me, but I look around me and see that all of these people with no particular talent can make them. Surely I can! This is similar to the logic I used when pregnant and having some misgivings about going through labor. I would just look around at church and see all of these moms and give myself a little peptalk. "They've all done it," I'd say to myself. "Women have dropped babies in the fields for thousands of years." "You're at least as capable as they are. You can do it." Oh no I can't! Not when it comes to these sticky treats.

First, it is impossible to stir the marshmallows and butter - truly impossible. I tried. My spoon got all stickied up. So I used another spoon to push off the goo back into the bowl. Now I just have 2 spoons stuck in the mire. Oh man. Seriously - how do you do it?

I also didn't happen to have any Rice Krispies (poor planning on my part) but I had intended on making them with Fruity Pebbles, in fact I bought these on sale because I was told they made awesome Rice Krispie treats. Then I thought I remembered someone saying that they were too sweet and to mix them in with regular Rice Kripies. But I had already started and didn't feel like going all the way to the store while my marshmallow goo cooled down and became even more impossible.

So - (racking brain) didn't I hear you could make these with just about any cereal? Corn flakes? Cheerios? Downstairs we go to the cereal stockpile (we're at about 50 boxes now) to grab some Cheerios. Back upstairs with said Cheerios. Dump into marshmallow mixture. Stirring is a joke. The directions said to use a buttered spatula. Sure it doesn't stick to the stuff, but it doesn't stir it either. It just bends upon contact. Lame. So buttered hands it is. (By this time I'm frustrated almost to tears and Rick is doing the squishing - you know how I get when all my hopes and expectations are crushed).

You are supposed to put it into a jelly rolly/cookie sheet. Our glob barely covers half. I can't see how this is going to work at all. So we get another pan dirty - a 9x13. Rick tries to convince me to do a 9x9 but this has to feed like 15 people! So now I'm writing this and our creation awaits the kiddos tomorrow morning. This should be fun. I should've bought doughnuts.