Keepin' it Real

I just wrote a note to friend who asked me about how I was doing with all these chitlins. She was struggling with a new baby herself and wanted to know what I had done when my hubby was out of town and how I kept it together since I was so good with organizing and schedules. Ha! Not so right now! I think that since I don't actually write in a journal that I should share the things I wrote with her.

I keep my posts as a record of what is happening with my family and this is a topic that has consumed my thoughts and emotions for almost 2 years. I haven't touched on it until recently on the blog, but I want to place these things down here so that I can see how far I've come (hopefully that's how I'll feel in a year or so!) and have them to share with my girls when they become moms.

I want to be honest and help my girls to not have unreal expectations in their heads that they measure themselves against. So here we go... (names have been changed - since not everyone wants to be in my blog!)

I am usually very organized, but not since Lauren. I struggle with almost everything - cooking, cleaning, spending time with each kid. This is just not the time in my life for being on top of things. And Megan is having the same weight issues Lauren had so I'm strapped to a baby or a double breast pump much of the day. It's pretty impossible to go out and go shopping, or leave the house at all for much time.

I have had baby blues after each kiddo, but with Megan I had full-on depression - which makes it harder to "see the light" and have a good attitude. I went to see a counselor once and would like to start going again in the coming months. The lady I saw was wacky and I won't see her again but I did leave with two ideas that helped me.

1. This is how it is right now.
2. My kids don't know any differently.

One thing that she told me was that I have never seen a big family work so my expectations are all wrong. I have one sister - and we are almost 4 years apart so I never saw all that goes on in a house full of young kids. We had so much time with our mom, she threw birthday parties each year, we had fun outings, we had our own rooms and not many responsibilities and lots of toys and room to play. And since there was so much time between us I NEVER had to help much with my little sister. But that isn't how it goes when you have a house full of little ones.

So I don't stress that I can't go out with the girls, accept dinner invites, exercise much, clean and have yummy meals as much as I would like. I try not to worry when I voice these frustrations and people just say "Oh sure you can! You just need to 'blah, blah, blah' (insert some helpful suggestion to fix my life) ". This is just the season for "getting by" at our home. And I'm OK with that. Everyone is different and has different struggles, and babies are just something that I can't juggle with a lot of other things.

Rick has 3 weeks vacation each year and he used almost every minute of it to stay home when we had the baby and to stay and help me in the mornings for a couple of hours. He has even made up time after the kids are in bed, working on our slow home internet connection or driving BACK to work for a few more hours. He saw that I was drowning and helped as much as he could.

And my kids don't know that they're missing out on things that I want for them - they don't think it's too terrible to be all 3 in the same room, they don't know that I want them to be able to go to the park, and have people over, and do sports and go on family hikes and whatever. They don't know that I hate that they have nowhere to play. It's just not possible right now, but they don't know what I have in my head that they aren't getting. This is normal life for them right now.

I know that things will get better as the babies get bigger. I can't wait for it! But until then I just try not to compare myself with others, or what I think life "should" be right now. Because there is only what it "is". And I am trying to make the best of that.

I feel like I am doing well. I think the biggest issue is me worrying about what other people think. That I'm lazy or not able to take care of my family like I should - that I'm slacking in my calling or not doing my best. But *I* am happy and content with how things are. I've agreed with myself to be this way just for right now. It's not how I would prefer things to be, but we're functioning and pretty happy. :) I know that as things ease up at home that I'll be able to be more clean, to do more fun things with my kids (and without them), to cook more, etc. But for me this just isn't the time and season for that. I think that what keeps me sane - knowing that my life will be back the way that I would like soon. That I will get to be the person I want to be.

You should call Sarah when your hubby is out of town. There are a lot of people who will help. And it's not bad or weak to want to have some help. I used to dread June calling me to tell me that Sarah wanted to set up dinners or some help for my family. I thought she was judging me inadequate and selfish for asking for any help. But I found out that she OFTEN has people over to watch her kids so she can go to the temple, or shopping, and she has people even watch them overnight so she can be with her husband. Many people have family who could do that, but I don't and I was amazed at all the help she was getting. It kind of made it OK for me to ask for help too.

When Rick was in Alabama and I was sick with the flu I just about lost it. Both babies were up all night - tag-teaming it seemed - and at one point I thought how I wished that I could just drop my kids off at the fire station so that someone could take care of them better than I was - and for that one second I was dead serious. I called Rick the next day and had him call Sarah because I knew I couldn't do another night like that.

She had a hard time finding people to come over b/c I had what I am pretty sure was the swine flu and no one wanted to get sick. So she had my Home Teachers come by and give me a blessing and she herself came over to help me get the kids into bed while Betty cleaned my bathroom and Alice made them dinner. Connie came over one morning and Ruth the next. It was amazing. An extra pair of hands is such a God-send sometimes. So I strongly encourage you to have people come by. Have dinners brought in, have someone come by in the evening/morning whenever you feel like you need an extra adult to wrangle the kids. It really isn't a big deal to them - not an inconvenience. They enjoy spending time with you and your kids and it's like a huge weight is lifted off of you. Really, it's not a burden and the difference can be life-changing for you.

I think in the past that's how women got things done - no one lived far from family and everyone helped each other. We are more isolated now and I think so many suffer because of it. I was talking with Wanda and she said she's seen women of our grandparents' generation talk of how hard it was and feel very bitter about their lives. So many were depressed. We really do need each other. It is so hard to be a good mom - especially when you have high expectations for yourself.

This may be WAY more than you wanted or expected - sorry if you didn't need all that! :) You have been through so much lately, and it is soooo hard to be a good mom. You could do it by yourself, but you shouldn't. It will be ok! Tell me how I can help! :)

And... that was it. It's such a journey to be OK with my "sub-par" life currently. Really, if I didn't know that this was not how my life would be forever I think I would lose it. It's just for a short time - I can do it. It's exactly what I tell myself in labor. And truly it's not like this for everyone. That's why so many people just tell me to "Just Do It". "Sure you can exercise." "Just start a schedule." But they aren't me and they don't have my limitations or my skill set, physically or emotionally. They have no idea what it is to be Erika in this part of my life right now. I hope my girls never have to go through this, but if they do I hope that I can show them that THEY CAN. Megan, Lauren, Nathan, Ashlyn - I love you!

Lest you think I have turned into a craft blog...

I think since I'm not getting graded here I can plagerize...

http://kentuckygrubbs.blogspot.com/2009/06/trying-to-find-my-balance.html

Read it before you go on!

This pretty much sums it up! :) Kathryn has such a way with words - I feel so lost for words most of the time that I can't express how I feel in a way that comes across in a way that is a true reflection of what I want to say.

And how silly of me that I never thought to stop and send a prayer "heavenward asking for wisdom for a mother of four". As much as I know it intellectually it is never my first thought - "Oh, I should be praying for help with this." My prayers lately (though not this week - I've been working on it!) are often in desperation, at a time of perceived crisis. Silly me, why not pray before? Each day? For fortitude and wisdom? Maybe I need to have friends to take long walks with - and take them! Or a husband who talks! ;)

I love how Kathryn puts it and hope that I can reach the same peace she seems to have.

Thieves Oil and pondering

When Rick was in Alabama this past week I had a kind soul offer to come and help clean my house to tidy it up before he came home. What a life saver! It was very humbling, but her service made such a difference to me. I've felt very needy since having my fourth baby; not in a clingy, whiny girlfriend way but in the way that the Bible speaks of when it says we are all truly beggars. We need to rely on God for all things - even the breath we take. Well, in my life, for many reasons, I have chosen not to rely on others. I may accept help if it is offered but I don't seek it out. For little things yes, but I mean for the big things that mean a lot to you and are essential to your well being. I have been so stubborn. I have been forced to see recently that if you are rigid you will break under pressure. Unfortunately I have had to be broken over and over again and I'm still not sure I'm done learning this lesson. This part of my life seems to be a bit of a refining. It seems like trial after trial at times and I wonder when it will end. Little by little I am seeing that I can live through these things, but I will need to seek out help from others. Yikes. Not an easy thing.

Soooooo, back to the cleaning. She brought some natural cleaning solution called Thieves. It is said to be based on a recipe used by a band of thieves who robbed the homes of the dead and dying during the plague. They would rub themselves with plant extracts and were never sick. Well, whether you believe it or not, the mixture of the 5 essential oils has been proven in laboratory tests to have a 99% kill rate for airborne bacteria when diffused. It is a mixture of lemon, cloves, cinnamon, rosemary and eucalyptus oils. It smells so good! You can dilute it in a carrier oil (olive, almond, jojoba, etc) and dab it on your skin to ward off illness. You can dilute to purify the air and you can add it to cleaners to give them antibacterial/antiseptic properties. So I went to the store and mixed some up! I will be trying out some non-toxic cleaners this next week and hope to find them effective and then clean out all the chemicals I currently use. Now as a couponer I have quite the stockpile, but I will gladly get rid of them to clean up my home. I'm so excited to try it out!

Quickies:

You can check my Coverwear site to find the new March sale info - Black is on sale for $10!

If you and I are Facebook buddies you already know... but I made a new blog just for me to keep track of my recipes.  You are obviously more than welcome to pop over and take a peek.  Currently it's not a cooking blog with photos and such - just a way for me to categorize and keep track of my favorites!  My dream is to have a laptop in the kitchen and then just open it to the blog, find the recipe I need and not have to find a recipe card, jot anything down or print anything out.  :)  

You should be able to see it in my profile - but it's at erikascookbook.blogspot.com.

And I'm considering getting into freezer meals.  I was thinking about doing a swap but then again I'm picky so I'm not sure if I shouldn't just go crazy on my own.  We have some nice meat prices this week and I've picked up quite a few books from the library with recipes - we'll see how it goes.  The problems are:

• many of the recipes are SO bad for you that I'm not sure I would be doing my family a favor by making them
  
• my freezer is already full
  
• I'm not sure if I can round up enough pans to put these in!  Some just can't be done in a freezer bag.
  

Anyway - we shall see!

Why oh why...

...have I never blogged about my Minestrone Soup? I now cannot find the recipe ANYWHERE!!! Did I ever give it to you? Oh, I'm craving it!

Welcome Welcome!

So now we're all cozy and private.  :)  And it looks like the invite process is working!  For 14 of you anyway.  :)  Oh well, I am blessed to have 14 people who care what we are up to.

Not much is new - I still need to get to it and post pictures of the lovely laundry room for you.  I just go down there and well, there's laundry drying on the rack, more folded on the counter, bunches thrown in the sorting bins (I know, so weird, there's laundry in my laundry room!) and I think I need to tidy it up before I take the pictures.  :)  Silly Erika.  

I swear, this house is such a slow-moving project.  I would love a few thousand dollars to just fall from the sky and then I wouldn't feel a bit bad about paying someone to finish this puppy off!  Then I could go to Costco and blow lots of money on the beautiful chaise sectional that I covet so...

And for you, dear family, who are anxiously awaiting your holiday "Thank You" cards - I just need to find my stamps!  Besides it being nigh to impossible to coordinate my kids' schedules enough to go to the store it really bothers me to go and buy something that I KNOW I already have.  Ugh.

Let's see...  Rick took a vacation day (well, part of one - the rest of the hours he made up on a Saturday) to go and work a shift canning tomato soup at the church cannery.  How nice, huh?  I can't imagine how they expect working dads to do that, but "if not me, then who" I suppose.  And it allowed us to go and see how the process works.  Yes, that's "us".  We all ended up making the 45 minute drive (one-way).  (For those who don't know the cannery is out by the airport.)  I had planned on buying some wheat and powdered milk, so I thought Rick would be able to go and can it after his shift.  Well, he could, and he did.  But he didn't know they only took checks or cash.  He still doesn't own an ATM card so I drove out there with my 2 youngest to deliver the check book.  Fun fun.  No naps for anyone that day.  But now we have wheat, milk, powdered juice mix and Potato Pearls.  I keep hearing how fabulous those things are so I had to try some.  Hope they're good!  

While there I ran into a lady from Highlands Ranch who said she makes chocolate chip cookies with oatmeal, whole wheat flour and white flour.  I found some recipes online but I really want to know hers!  She made it sound so good!  2 cups oats is all I remember - I think 1 cup wheat flour.  So someone out in HR find her for me.  It should be easy.  Cute, teenage boys, blonde, drove an Audi, nicely dressed...   Can't be that many right?  (My WA friends - tongue in cheek.  This describes a large portion of the lovely Highlands Ranch.)

Oh, and I am now on the hunt for a pressure cooker!  Did you know you can can beans!?  I'm so excited.  We go through tons and I hate the planning involved with dry beans.  You stick dry beans in the jar with water and seasonings and can it!  I'm giddy!  All right.  Off to bed.  Enjoy your day!  And thanks for signing up!

If you visit my blog...

Now, I read most of my blogs in the email that my blog reader sends to me when there are new posts and I rarely step "foot" in a real blog. To those of you who do the same, I get it. We're lazy by nature. That's why we have a reader! But I'm getting so many hits per day. Not bad for a blog that isn't searchable by web crawlers. You have to come here on purpose - follow a link, type in the address.

So, if you actually visit my blog...
... you should comment. At least once so I know you're here and feel some luv. Just sayin'.

The Best

I had the best experience today. I went to lend an FHE lesson I made to someone who is newish (at least to me - but I was in YW a long time) in our ward. I ended up chatting for over an hour. Poor girl - I think she was taking a nice Sunday nap when we stopped by! But anyway, we talked about so many things! And it was just a lovely experience. She asked how Rick and I had met, which led to a discussion about my background (not in the church), my conversion and my philosophy on family and my passion to raise my kids to KNOW. I didn't KNOW anything growing up. I think I had a lot of HOPE, but there is so much more strength and security to KNOW. I got teary (well, she did it first - it's her fault). : ) But she was full of nothing but praise for me and my kids. I don't think there is anything that helps me to do better in my life than having someone completely ignore my faults and tell me how great I am. Because, really, aren't we all great at some things? Focusing on that is so healthy for our souls. I don't mean that we should get big heads and think we can do no wrong, but it is so encouraging to know that someone thinks highly of you. For me, it's a big motivator - a recharge to my spiritual and emotional battery. There is a lot to be said for praise. I need to remember that as a mom and wife.
Being on Facebook has allowed me to "talk" with my best friend Kim much more recently. If you know me at all you know I absolutely hate talking on the phone. HATE IT! (Which is why my new calling is somewhat hilarious - hounding a large list of women monthly to get their VT reports). So being able to post on each other's pages, IM, and send quick msgs has allowed us the chance to to chat quite a bit more. It has made me realize that she does that pep talk thing for me. Without fail, each conversation is uplifting, comforting and loving. I haven't realized how much I have missed that. I had a similar feeling when I went to Doug's to his his newest son blessed. I felt so good about myself when we went home. Recharged and open to the spirit. I felt loved. I wish I could take a bubble bath (in the downstairs bath of course) and just soak in that feeling. I wish I knew a way to make that stay with me - short of moving next door to Kim. I pray all of you can find that too. I really think that's how we are meant to make each other feel.

State Quarters

I know this is random - but that's what my Random Erikaness category is for right?

Rick has the "United States of America Coin Collector's Map" - we found in the dollar spot at Target. It has a spot for all the state quarters that have been released. He is now missing just 5 and I would love to give these to him as a present. He's so hard to shop for - he really doesn't want anything I can afford (new house, large guns, cars/motorcycles, pool table, lifetime supply of Mountain Dew/Alpine Cider/Martinelli's/NesQuick etc.) but I know he would love to finish up his map.

So I'm sending a plea for help - Any chance you have a Delaware, Florida, Tennessee, Louisiana or Hawaii sittin' in your coin purse with nothin' to do?

Back in the Saddle again!

Here is a preview of coming attractions - for those on our picture list anyway...

I finally had a camera to go out and take the kids' pictures. I went to the same place as last year but we were too late in the year to catch the beautiful grassy shots. But the rocks haven't gone anywhere! : ) Lauren is too sick to go out just now - I would have to Photoshop out a lot of snot and sick, red eyes so I'm hoping to try on Saturday when the weather is supposed to be a bit better.

And next up - Halloween. Rick took all the pictures this night as I felt pretty yucky, so all but one of them are around the dinner table at the Trunk-or-Treat. So no cute full body shots - but you'll get the idea! They each just picked out something from the dress-up box. Nathan had actually been dressing up most of the week. Mostly in a big plush Tigger, but also a full-bellied Winnie the Pooh (I have never understood that name!) and knight. At the last minute he went for Buzz. Ashlyn wore her fave neon green unitard (the one from Homecoming Week last year if you remember) and was a gymnast for her school parade and party.

And here we have a picture of our bow board. : ) Cuz I like you to know I strive to be crafty. And because I took pictures for my Facebook album - why not share here too? You can't see, but it's 12"-wide board covered with batting and fabric. Three ribbons run down the length of it so I can put on the girls' clips. Nice way to keep things organized! But I think it's kinda full - I'm going to need to make another!

And I got a haircut! You like? I do! I'm not sure if I'll like the length by the time Thanksgiving comes so I want to make sure you all see it now while I'm still in love with it.

Just disregard the puffy red eyes - such is the life of a baby mommy.

Quick election notes - I have been thinking this since, well, forever. Skip through this if you still want to be friends and you voted for Obama. Especially if we share the same religion. Unless you REALLY want to hear my thoughts here...

Can you really profess to believe what I believe and still vote for someone who stands for things that you know are wrong? I was one of those undecideds. Until about 3 days before the election. At that time I made a decision and did a little research. More about that later.

There is a very interesting article on Democrats and political diversity in the church here. Read it before you go on - it's not too long. Notice it's from 10 years ago. I totally agree. From the time of Joseph Smith you will find that church leaders have always encouraged members of the church to vote for the issues, the candidate and to vote their conscience. Don't vote for a Party. Party lines change - I don't believe you can say for the duration of your life that will always agree with a certain party. They are political entities - and I mean that in a bad way. They shift and adjust to what they believe will put them into power. Candidates need your vote and will try and appeal to the broadest base possible. I feel it's disingenuous but inevitable. Perhaps originally the elected officials told you what they really thought. They did what they thought was right. But I don't think it would take too long before people realized that you could get farther if you held your tongue sometimes, courted certain demographics, focused on these issues and tried not to touch these others.

I watched a PBS special this week about both of our major party presidential candidates. It was eye-opening. I think I was a little naive. Obama was groomed to run for office for years before this election. I remember watching him on Oprah not long ago saying that he didn't think he would be running for president, that he was not aspiring to that position. But it seems that was false. From the beginning of his time running for office in Illinois his advisers and the people who wanted him to run were telling him that he needed to avoid hot button issues, to seem moderate, to not do anything that could be used against him in a run for office later. The people who shared this were his advisers and mentors. I suppose that this is normal but I think it's a little sad. But like I said, maybe it's inevitable in our current system. Now don't get me wrong, McCain had similar experiences. And I'm not saying Obama is bad - it's just an illustration of how things work. That things aren't real and honest - for the most party politics are manufactured.

But I digress. Ever since my best friend told me that she was voting for Obama I have wondered - How? I think that you will not find a candidate who espouses all of your beliefs and desires and must choose the one who comes closest. As the article says, you need to give on some issues and stick tight on issues that are most important to you. I think that someone who believes in the Gospel must have some non-negotiables. Abortion and Gay Marriage. Easy peasy and straight forward. Or so I thought. I actually went through LDS.org and pulled quotes and official statements on my top issues.

Here's what I found...

ABORTION:

Human life is a sacred gift from God. Elective abortion for personal or social convenience is contrary to the will and the commandments of God

Church leaders have said that some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer.

When a child is conceived out of wedlock, the best option is for the mother and father of the child to marry and work toward establishing an eternal family relationship. If a successful marriage is unlikely, they should place the child for adoption

HOMOSEXUALS:

We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families

I wish to say that our opposition to attempts to legalize same-sex marriage should never be interpreted as justification for hatred, intolerance, or abuse of those who profess homosexual tendencies, either individually or as a group.

STEM CELLS:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has no official position on the moment that human life begins. Further, the Church has not taken a position on the issue of embryonic stem-cell research.

EUTHANASIA:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes in the sanctity of human life, and is therefore opposed to euthanasia. Euthanasia is defined as deliberately putting to death a person who is suffering from an incurable condition or disease. Such a deliberate act ends life immediately through, for example, so-called assisted suicide. Ending a life in such a manner is a violation of the commandments of God.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not believe that allowing a person to die from natural causes by removing a patient from artificial means of life support, as in the case of a long-term illness, falls within the definition of euthanasia. When dying from such an illness or an accident becomes inevitable, it should be seen as a blessing and a purposeful part of eternal existence.

DEATH PENALTY:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regards the question of whether and in what circumstances the state should impose capital punishment as a matter to be decided solely by the prescribed processes of civil law. We neither promote nor oppose capital punishment.

It was so helpful to go through and make a list of these definitive statements. Many LDS women in my acquaintance voted for Obama. I'm not bringing this up with them because I don't want to have a big ruckus. But really, can you imagine that abortion is something you can compromise on? I just can't see how. Can you knowingly vote for someone who will protect a practice "contrary to the will and the commandments of God"? I actually like many of the principles that the Democrats currently espouse. I think it's a shame that the one issue I need to be firm on needs to overpower everything else in a candidate.

Well, I've told Rick many times, next election I'll be old enough to vote for myself. Now there is someone I agree with.

"Whatcha doin' Skyler?"

Howdy folks! A lot has been going on - and then again it's nothing new. :) I am really hating life with no camera. It's seriously peeing on my blogging groove I'm telling ya. (nice visual, eh?) But really! I keep wanting to take pictures and I can't! But you are here to catch up with TheOnesInColorado so I will do my part!

1. I'm envious if you just bought a house this year. People are snatching up homes 2 and 3 times the size of mine for less than our max price (or what I think would be our max price if we were looking) and 30K or more less than the asking price. I know that's not much of an update but I've been stewing about it. Do I just seem really whiny lately? What do you mean not just lately! ;P I just keep taking deep breaths and visualizing my house DONE. Will that ever really happen? Do we have any rich relatives close to release from this mortal veil who have no greater wish than to make us their sole heirs? Nah - I didn't think so. But who has a mortgage well under 200K - no one I know so that should be what I focus on. In a similar vein, countertops and sinks are 20% off at Home Depot until tomorrow. We are pondering finishing up the laundry room. And I think we are going with a concrete patio (less work than our brick plan) in back. That means I REALLY need a way to get into the backyard besides through my garage, don't ya think? Will a door fit in my tiny kitchen/living/dining room?

2. Can anyone here in the midst of our economic funtimes tell me it's OK for me to stop my E-fund at 4 months' worth and start saving for our next car? Six months' expenses is a LOT! I know, I talk about money a lot. It's to make up for all the people who are too scared/embarassed/cool to do so and perpetuate this culture of not having a clue how to save our money and live within our means. And losing many, many percentiles in our 401K is really just buying low, right?

3. Sorry for all the negative posts/conversations lately. That's just how I'm feeling. There's nothing to show you just how little you can control your life like a kid with a problem you can't seem to fix. Sorry for crying when you ask about Lauren. It'll stop when she's about one or so and we can hook her up to an Oreo filling IV (cuz she'll be old enough for DAIRY!!! Is there dairy in there?). I'll be back to my chipper self when my house is done and I can put away all of our junk treasured possessions.

4. This has been the first week of CAR POOL!!! I'm so glad that I've finally found someone willing to do this. This has been fantastical (all two days of it). I do the mornings this week and then I don't have to mess with our delicate nap schedule in the PM. I'm all for co-op preschool, trading babysitting nights, carpooling, etc. but you can't do it alone! No one has ever taken us up on the offer to share the load before. I think people must just like to spend a lot of money here? Or else my kidlets are staggered at the wrong ages? Or we smell funny?

5. I have started really being diligent about prayer and scriptures - making sure it's done and with some good intent. I used to be much better but I've done some sliding. We usually rock FHE so I think I'm doing my part to lock the Lord in to some blessings. :) JK. I just figure every little tally mark on my board helps!

6. I have been really uplifted by reconnecting to some WSU (Anne and Lanita) blogs lately - and by clicking on some random blog links from those pages. It's amazing how much strangers can do for you. I love those "tender mercies". Cuz really - how could life with the BEST husband, THREE amazing and beautiful children, a roof over our heads, a yard (even if the green lawn is mowed weeds) to play in, a trampoline to bounce on, tons of food to eat, a stable job and enough money to live and play on be that terrible? We are alive and we have the most love I have EVER seen in a family. We are healthy (I'm counting Lauren, doctors are dorks) and have all we need. IN ABUNDANCE. I need to just put up a fence so I quit looking at the grass on the other side. Total character flaw of mine. But you know this by now.

7. $250 for a new camera or $90 plus maybe more for our camera to be fixed?

8. I made more mixes! We now have our own Bisquick and Buckwheat pancakes. I'm hoping that the latter will be like I remember my grandma making us when we visited. Love the Hillbilly Housewife!

9. Nathan must be the most forgiving, easy-going kid ever. After a full afternoon of cranky mommy getting on his case for not listening, a bum swat, time outs, sitting in the garage for a bit, sitting on the steps, fighting over naps and putting him back to bed at least 4 times... I asked him after his bath, "Nathan, are you mad at mommy for being upset with you today?" He smiled and said ,
"No!
I'm happy!
Well, I'm a little sad cuz Daddy spanked my bum
But I'm a little happy too.
So I guess I'm a little sad (cock head to left) and a little happy (cock head to right).
I love you."
All this with the most endearing smile as he's cuddling into my chest. Man, you just can't stay mad at him. He's just full of love.

10. We had Ashlyn's parent teacher conferences. She's doing great and is in the highest reading and math groups. Yay! She spaces out and doesn't listen to directions but her smarts are getting her by anyway. Hope she does better with that than I did. Question: When we get her week's schoolwork back how do I go over her mistakes with her without seeming to be disappointed in her and critical? Should I not do it? Maybe I should make up similar problems and not even bring her attention to any mistakes?

Signing off!
Mommy

Jack Handey is real!

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man...

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

And (for whatever reason) Kim's and my personal favorite from HS:

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Maybe you already knew that this guy wasn't just someone SNL made up - but I just found out today. Man... the memories. I need to get a book of his.

Hear me crunch

Yup - I'm crunchy! Well, not really. I just pretended for the day. I went shopping at a local health nut store. They almost didn't let me in because I didn't carry in a reusable grocery bag. Well, again, not really. But I felt very guilty! And the sign by the checkout register said that to help them keep their costs down I should use my debit rather than my credit card. Suddenly I felt very self-serving for trying to rack up rewards by using my card as often as possible. Those tree-huggers sure know how to tug at your conscience!
I went to check out their bulk section where you can, I had heard, find great deals on spices and such. I was trying to make up some mixes from the the Hillbilly Housewife's website and it called for freeze dried veggies. Now you can buy these online but it was definitely preferable to be able to buy smaller amounts locally and not pay S&H. I was also out of TVP so off I went! I came back with the ingredients to make all kinds of awesome mixes: ricearoni type, pilaf, burritos, granola bars, etc. Very fun! Plus I picked up tumeric and lemon and orange peel - because I absolutely never have lemons and oranges at my house. I am tired of shying away from all of the recipes that call for them so now I am prepared! And for cheap!
OK, back to my fave Hillbilly. I printed off a lot of her recipes and am very excited to try them out! I made the veggie rice with currywurst tonight and it was really good! And if you haven't tried out her Magic Milkshakes please do! They are seriously just like Wendy's frosties - I kid you not. And you can use 1/2 tsp. lecithin if you have it instead of the cooking spray (as an emulsifier - your shake will not turn out if you don't use it!). And be sure not to measure the lecithin in a measuring spoon and expect it to come off. Nope. Not even in the Pots and Pans cycle on your dishwasher. Not gonna happen. You're gonna have to wash that puppy by hand. Or better yet just approximate it and pour it from the bottle. :)

First Grader!

Here are all the kiddos on the first day of school (for Ashlyn anyway). I can't believe we start so early here! We've already finished up our first week! So far our first year going to school all day has had some interesting moments. I've found myself having some rather adult conversations about friends and choices. She's already had her "all people are nice and are my friends" bubble burst. She's had people who won't let her play Frisbee with them, people who tease and bully the ugly/backwards kids, people who cut in the water fountain line, and it has been so hard for her. She just doesn't understand why people treat others that way. It has just broken her little heart - and as a consequence, mine too. We'll get through it though! I told her one of the keys to being happy is to surround herself with good friends and be true to what she knows to be right. Then she will overcome!
We've also had some fun with lunchtime. If you've had the pleasure of eating with us you know my kids are in the running for Slowest Eaters of All Time. Well, Ashlyn gets 40 minutes for lunch and recess and when everyone is dismissed to play she goes too. And of course she hasn't even come close to finishing her lunch. Day 1's lunch was a half a dozen cherries and Day 2 she managed to eat a handful of blueberries. For the rest of the week we made her promise to eat her sandwich first and THEN move on the "good stuff". And of course, being the true and honest girl who was bothered by the deviant behavior of her peers earlier in the week, she did exactly what we asked without thought of trickery. :) Good girl. And the last 2 days she has eaten her sandwich. So far I don't like school. But I think Ashlyn does!

Yay - the streak continues!

Public Information Statement
National Weather Service
Denver CO 3:36 PM MDT Tue Aug 05 2008

At 2:43 this afternoon the temperature at Denver International Airport reached 91 degrees. This extends our consecutive 90 degree day streak to 24. So far in 2008 41 ninety degree days have been tallied. 2008 is just 9 days away from the 10th top seasonal total.


Yippee Skippee.

I just called to say I LOVE YOU

I love USAA! (I know I'm inviting a bunch of San Antonio hits again, but that's OK. They should know how much I appreciate them!)

Why you ask? Because...

1. they always are kind and patiently answer all of my questions when I call. (You know me - I always have a lot of questions.

2. the representatives always speak English fluently.

3. Totally free banking! No stupid fees for me letting them use my money. Why do people stand for that from other banks?

4. they refund my ATM transaction fees (and they started WAY before other banks did that).

5. I can deposit a check in prepaid envelopes in the mail or instantly online by scanning them from home. I don't have to go anywhere!

6. their checking and savings accounts are interest bearing (not just if you have thousands of $s).

7. their insurance rates are incredibly low. I have compared online with other companies and the comparison is laughable. We get a great deal!

8. I get dividends back on my insurance policies depending on how well the company does that year.

9. They have a great website - I can do everything online. FOR FREE!

10. And they are really understanding and human. They seem to have my best interests at heart and have compassion!

And it's this last item that causes me to write today. Last year we had a check written to us (a whole $4.80) that we deposited and then had it refused by the other party's bank. We were then charged a "chargeback" fee of $5. I saw the "chargeback" on my statement online and called my bank to ask what this was. Together we put the info together about what had happened and completely unprompted the gal on the phone with me said, "Well, that's silly that you have this charge. It's more than the check was worth! I'll just go ahead and refund that money to your account." I was shocked! I figured I would make the people who's check was returned take care of my $5. But USAA totally took care of it! They are awesome.

Then this week... We return from our trip to visit R's sisters and I checked my email. I received one from PayPal - all in Japanese (or whatever, Asian script for sure). I log in to PP to see what on earth this is, thinking it's one of those spoof emails. Well, lo and behold someone has hacked into my account (so scary!!!) and stolen $42.50 and paid an online gaming site with MY MONEY!!! Oh man, I felt violated and scared. I called PayPal right away and, of course, was sent directly to India. Thank heavens that PP protocol is to send fraud claims back to an agent in the U.S.! I would have had the worst time trying to explain what happened to someone who didn't really have an understanding of English (done that before - as I'm sure you have). I started the ball rolling there with my claim and went back to USAA to switch funds into my savings account to take care of this little blip. Well, I don't keep much in our savings since I get better interest in our money market account. But the evil teenage boy (total assumption, but I can picture him in my head!) who stole my money had already put our account into overdraft and there was a $29 non-sufficient funds fee already posted. Aaaaa! PayPal would refund the $42.50 but who's got to cover the $29? Me! Oh I was so mad. I stewed for a day or two and then I thought about my awesome bank... Would they maybe refund it? I decided to send them an email explaining that I knew it wasn't their mistake and they were totally justified in that fee, but as I wasn't responsible for that debit would they pretty please refund it? Well, the next day I get an email back - "Sure" and it's done! Most banks seem to look for opportunities to squeeze all the money they can out of you. But my bank is the opposite! They are so wonderful! So I am singing their praises! Rick has been so impressed each time we've dealt with them. Early on in our marriage he said that he didn't care if we got a better deal insuring or banking elsewhere - they had our loyalty for life. They are that fantastic! And, totally against my frugal nature, I whole-heartedly agree. I trust them absolutely and I am so grateful for that relationship!

Taking up a collection.

A few months ago our VCR died. Not terribly tragic. We can deal without the Princess Bride. We have other fun DVDs to watch. We have our rabbit ears and 6 stations we get most of the time.

Well, yesterday the DVD player bit it and today the blender. This is a travesty. No movies! That means no Letter Factory! Just when Nathan was really starting to learn his letters! And no smoothies! And it's so hot here! Arg!

That's a lot of electronics to have to replace with not a lot of available cash. Is this Emergency fund worthy? Hmmm.

I realize, btw, that I haven't posted in forever. :) I was waiting until we got back in town. I don't like to post that Rick is gone or that we are gone until after we come back in case someone takes it as an invite to ransack my abode. Rick was in Alabama (sorta offered a position there), then home, then we all went to UT/ID, then we had a day together at home before Rick took off to Minnesota. Now we're all home and getting caught up with laundry. And mourning our plants - to which the water was turned off for the duration of our trip. Perhaps we are not meant to landscape.

Oooo - yes!

My Coverwear blog ROCKS! It's 1 a.m. but don't you love it? And the last time I checked my blog is #4 on google when you type in Covewear. Woo - hoo!

And the new patriotic theme on this blog? Spiff, huh?

And thanks dad for the info on Bermuda!

Ok, gotta go to bed...

Hives

We have had our first experience with hives! Check another one off of my list of things to do to be a REAL mommy!

• Stitches: check
  
• Headwound bleeding profusely: check
  
• Tons of slivers to be removed with tweezers from screaming child: check
  
• Fall off trampoline: check
  
• Broken bone: check
  
• Shiners: check
  
• Free weight thrown at nose: check
  

and the list goes on!
Now we can add Hives.
Thursday: Nathan had a fever of about 101, a tummy ache and had no appetite at dinner. (Rick figured that this might be a cousin gift since Matthew had a fever the night we arrived - who knows!)
Friday: Nathan felt a little better but woke up from nap with WELTS like I had never seen before. He said they itched. I called a nurse I know who told me that a cool bath with oatmeal might help. I was so encouraged to hear that he wasn't dying! The red puffy marks were all over one of his legs so I thought that he had just run into something in the backyard. But in my secret over-reacting mommy heart I was waiting for him to die from an allergic reaction because I had no Benadryl (remedied now) or Epipen and I was going to have to lose my only boy and who knows if I get another one 'cause my family only makes girls, etc.
Well, the oatmeal bath worked wonders and Nathan thought it might just be the best thing he's experienced in short term memory. (He and Ashlyn both have been clamoring for another one).
Saturday: Again, after nap, Nathan wakes up with itchy splotches. But now they're on his cheeks and arms. I am freaking out. Whatever it is - it's back! Even though he's worn long sleeved shirts and pants, has new sheets, hasn't been outside... What is it? My confidence from yesterday's defeat vanishes and I imagine swollen tongues again. Maybe he can't eat Brie! Maybe he's really not mine!
So I take him to the after-hours clinic - even though it's more than double our normal copay. They see him right away (don't know if they weren't busy or if God just loved me extra that day) and I explain in my Erika way all that's happened. I start with the tummy ache and fever and end with the spots that afternoon (even though they seem to be disappearing from his face - I swear they were there! Oh wait! Now they're on his leg?). I thought, because of their proximity in time that the fever and spots might be related. Ha! She (doc) said I was right! Ha! Vindication! And he'll be fine. The hives (that's what they are!) are probably induced by a virus and he'll be fine a couple of days. So I whip Benadryl and the cream that I bought at WalMart the previous day after the oatmeal bath out of my diaper bag so I could get her opinion of what and how much to give. (No directions on the Benedryl for anyone under 6). Yeah - I'm a prepared mommy. She says topical stuff will do no good (since hives migrate) but I can give him Benadryl if I want. Half a dose. Yay! I love kids who aren't really dying! My day went so much more smoothly after that!
Sorry about the pic - I can't get it to post the right way. I've tried 3 times now. You'll get the idea.

Hey mom - Rick told me I couldn't call you at 10:15 last night (silly him). When were we in Bermuda and why? Did we ever buy the house in the excavation photos in Falls Church? And don't worry - I covered all old people nipples in the bath tub pics.

Totally my children!

We love Brie. Yup, as in the French cheese. Halleluia! They really are my kids!