Friday, May 18, 2007

To all the mean moms on Mothers' Day...

Carlotta Carruthers Has the Nicest of Mothers


Carlotta Carruthers
Has the nicest of mothers
Who never says "No!"
Like some of the others.

Carlotta said, "Please, may I swim out beyond
The rope that is guarding this end of the pond?"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta ducked under the rope at the lake
And choked when she stepped in a hole by mistake.
She wound up in bed from her terrible fright
And coughed up minnows for the rest of the night.

Carlotta said, "Please, may I ride on a bike?
I'm tired of having to pedal a trike"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta skipped out and rode down the street
On a bike that had pedals too low for her feet.
She wound up in bed when her shoelaces tangled,
And suffered for days with a toe that was mangled.

Carlotta said, "Please, may I pick a bouquet
Of flowers that grow in the field ‘cross the way?"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta picked flowers and branches of pine
And berries and leaves from a poison oak vine.
She wound up in bed, hardly fit to be seen,
And was so busy scratching that she missed Halloween.

Carlotta said, "Please, may I go down the slide
On my sled on the hill where the older kids ride?"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta roared down on her long, red toboggan
And then lost control and crashed on her noggin.
She wound up in bed too dazed to remember
To help trim the tree for the church in December.

Carlotta said, "Please, may I cut my own hair?
It takes too much time in that old barber chair."
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta sat down and picked up the shears
And sliced off some hair and a piece from both ears.
She wound up in bed under Band-Aids galore
And couldn't wear earrings for six weeks or more.

Carlotta said, "Please, is it all right to climb?
May I try that big tree on the corner sometime?"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta climbed up and fell out of the tree
And broke her right elbow and cut her left knee.
She wound up in bed with her arm in a sling
And she couldn't salute til the last day of spring.

Carlotta said, "Please, may I play in the rain?
And splash through the puddles of mud down the lane?"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta walked out in the wind and the storm
And caught a bad chill and she couldn't get warm.
She wound up in bed feeling all out of tune
And was too hoarse to sing with the Brownies in June.

Carlotta said, "Please, is it all right with you
If I just have dessert instead of this stew?"
"Yes," said her mother.
So Carlotta ate pudding and pie with ice cream
And shortly thereafter she uttered a scream.
She wound up in bed with her innards awry,
And couldn't play drums with the band in July.

Carlotta Carruthers is holding her head
She's tired of pain and she's tired of bed.
She's thinking what horrors may face her some day
If her mother keeps letting her have her own way.


Carlotta Carruthers
Has the nicest of mothers,
Who ought to say, "No!"
Like some of the others.
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